Coconut and Lime Swiss Roll - Dairy Free

So, like many people, I've instantly got right into the new series of the Great British Bake-Off. In these troubled times we live in, it's quite soothing watching someone's cracked sponge become a NATIONAL EMERGENCY (with some crap innuendos thrown in).
It's infiltrated my subconscious so much that I made a Swiss roll for a barbecue under the impression that it was my own idea, when clearly it had been planted in my mind by the very first episode.

This is one of those amazing things that's naturally dairy-free, so great for those of you who are lactose intolerant. It does, I'm afraid, contain egg - because the volume of the sponge depends on it, I really don't know how you'd do it without.

A word on coconut cream - I really do mean coconut cream, not coconut milk. It's available in the same sort of supermarket aisle, and Sainsburys definitely do it. It's got to be the full-fat sort, and according to the wisdom of the internet, the stuff with guar gum as an ingredient doesn't work.
Chill it well, and don't shake it - what you want is for all the watery stuff to separate from the rest.
When you come to use it, you should just be able to pour the thin, watery bit off the top (it's not good for much, but you could add it to a smoothie or a curry or something) leaving behind an almost solid chunk of coconutty goodness.

You can, of course, mess about with the flavours as much as you like - replace the lime curd with pineapple jam, or chocolate spread and sliced banana is a good filling. Let me know in the comments if you hit on anything amazing!

What you need

85g plain flour
3 eggs
85g caster sugar
zest of a lime
3-4 tbsps lime curd (Sainsburys again)
250ml carton of coconut cream
Approx. 3 tbsp icing sugar

What to do

Preheat the oven to 170 (180 if it's not a fan oven), and line the base of a 33 by 23" rectangular tin with baking paper.

Put the sugar and the eggs in a mixing bowl, and have at them with an electric beater for about 5 minutes - this part is tedious but important. You're done when the mixture is thick and very pale.

Fold in the lime zest (make sure there's still a bit of green on the lime for you to grate over the top) and a tbsp of warm water, then add the flour a tablespoon at a time. I know it's really annoying to add the flour a little at a time, but otherwise you'll either end up with big clumps of flour in the finished article or you'll accidentally mix all the air out of it. So do as I say.

Pour the mixture into the tin and put in the oven for 10 minutes. You'll know it's done when it's golden and springy to the touch. If it's not quite done, only put it back in for 2 more minutes at a time - it's so easy to overdo it, and you'll feel Mary Berry's steely gaze on you from afar.



Quickly lay a largish sheet of baking paper on the worktop, and sprinkle it quite liberally with caster sugar. Run a knife around the edge between the cake and the tin, then carefully up-end so that it lands on the sugared paper.

Score with a butter knife about half a centimetre from one of the shorter edges, and roll it up, with the baking paper to help you. Because it's warm, it'll behave itself better once you put the filling in. Leave it to cool - about an hour.

While it's cooling, sort out your coconut filling. Pop the more solid part of the coconut cream (see my note in the blurb!) in a bowl and beat it with the electric mixer until it's starting to get the consistency of whipped cream. Add the icing sugar a tbsp at a time to taste - I ended up with about 3 tbsp in, but you might like it more or less sweet.

When cool, gently unroll and spread with a generous layer of lime curd, then a further layer of coconut cream. Carefully roll it back up, and trim the ends if it's a little scruffy.

Grate a final bit of lime zest over the top to decorate, and you're good to go!

Chickpea Patties with Carrot & Watercress Salad and Raita

            

I think it's often tempting for veggies to ignore foods that are typically seen by meat-eaters as being 'What Vegetarians Eat.' For example, a jowly colleague at a work buffet might loom over your shoulder chortling about the 'rabbit food' you've stacked your plate with, and commenting on how "no wonder you're all so pale when all you people eat is bloody lentils, hurr hurr," and you instantly feel like never eating lentils again just to spite them. Chickpeas are probably among the foods which have suffered on this count, but I feel more well-disposed towards them when I remember how cheap, versatile and tasty they can be.

On one of my weekend trips back up North I managed to put together these chickpea patties. Most of the ingredients are typical store-cupboard stuff, so they make a good Emergency Tea! They're very easy, very cheap and very versatile - you can serve these as shown, in a burger bun with all the trimmings, or the same mix in smaller balls as a snack or party food. If you don't have time or can't be bothered to make your own raita, the shop-bought versions are perfectly good.

You do, as with most burger-type things, need a food processor. They take up a lot of space but they're dead good.

Serves 2

What you need

For the chickpea patties

1 can of chickpeas
2 slices of stale-ish bread, torn up
1 free range egg, beaten
3 spring onions, roughly chopped
Half a bunch of coriander, leaves torn off the stalks
1 tsp garam masala
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 red chilli, de-seeded if you want to reduce the heat, finely chopped
Salt and pepper

For the side salad

1 carrot, grated
Large handful of watercress

For the raita

100ml pot of plain natural yoghurt
About 1/4 of a cucumber, diced into small cubes
Handful of fresh mint leaves, chopped
A pitta bread each to serve (if you like)


What to do

It's best to do the raita first, then that can be chilling in the fridge while you do the rest. Put the diced cucumber in strong kitchen roll or a clean tea towel, and squeeze some of the water out of them. This helps to avoid a sloppy dip! Stir the cucumber and chopped mint into the yoghurt, and put in the fridge until you want it.

Drain the chickpeas and put in the food processor, along with the egg, the torn-up bread, spring onions, coriander, garam masala, cumin, chilli, a pinch of salt and a few grinds of black pepper. Whizz it all up until it is smooth enough for your liking - use your preference here, some people prefer a few big lumps of chickpea.

Put a large non-stick frying pan on to heat, with a thin coating of oil, ready for your patties.

When I make this it's usually too runny to treat like a burger and form the patty shapes before you fry, so I take big tablespoons of the mixture and put them straight into the hot pan. You should get 4 out of the mixture - 2 each. You can shape them a bit with the spoon once they're in. Give them about 5 minutes on that side, then flip them over. Using the biggest spatula/slice you can find and flipping them in one swift movement means they're less likely to fall apart. Fry for 5 minutes on the second side, then transfer them onto some kitchen roll while you plate up.

Put the pitta breads in the toaster, if you're using.

Add a big handful of watercress and another of grated carrot to each plate (the raita dip also does well as a salad dressing), then add a big dollop of raita, the patties and a toasted pitta bread.